Did I talk enough? Was I boring? Or awkward? Subscribe to our newsletter and you’ll get one email, every Friday, of our best articles. It isn’t until we can escape and we’re walking toward our car that we feel an immense weight has been lifted off our shoulders. However, the moment anyone tries to prolong our visit, the more silent daggers we’ll send them, and the more antsy we’ll become. It’s almost easier for introverts to say their goodbyes - because the thought of leaving is instant gratification. The moment we see another guest doing the same, we may follow suit, because the attention won’t just be on us leaving, but clearly guests can see multiple people are leaving at once. Who wants to talk to us now when we have a mouthful of food?! And when we’re done with our food, we’re most likely thinking: Well, we stayed a good amount of time and should probably get going soon. And conversations can get awkward after everyone’s done with their food, so we might combat this by eating slowly. My fellow introverts know to avoid eye contact as much as possible, as eye contact pretty much guarantees conversation. Now that it’s time to eat, I can focus on the taste of the food, the moments of silence that chewing and swallowing bring, and my eating etiquette instead of having to stare into someone’s eyes and fumble over my words. When the food is ready, I sigh with relief because I no longer feel as pressured to maintain a conversation. (Can’t talk - I’m busy eating!)Īt social events, introverts appreciate any distractions they can get. Thank goodness for distractions, like food. (Shout-out to my fellow introverts right now who are experiencing any muscle tightness upon reading this!) 2. Plus, it can only entertain us for so long. After all, we can only spend so much time on our phone without appearing rude. So… this is where our phones come in handy: We can check emails, read the news, respond to a text or two… But, eventually, we may feel silly. Either we don’t want to share personal information - or even if we tried to share something, the words may not come out as eloquently as we’d imagined in our head. We may feel guilty and awful at this point, because it’s been some time since we last saw this person, so we should be able to find things to talk about… but we just can’t. Personally, my mind is so focused on how uncomfortable I am - and where I would rather be, and what I would rather be doing - that I often don’t have much energy left to initiate a lasting conversation. When it comes down to it, we slowly engage with only a few of those people beyond the “Hi” conversation level, because that is as much as our social battery can tolerate.
Sure, we may smile as we greet you, but honestly, we’re not feeling happy - we’re anxious! The “Hi, nice to see you” exchange we give is our version of acknowledging everyone, but if you’re like me, you can’t help but feel you’re sounding fake in the process. We introverts will (usually begrudgingly) attend the event, saying “Hi” to the numerous faces we see, secretly hoping people don’t notice the “Oh my gosh, there’s so many people here” vibe we’re giving off. There’s probably a 90 percent chance we don’t want to go in the first place! We’ll make sure that our best friend - of course, I mean our cell phone - is fully charged, because that phone is going to get us through the event. It doesn’t matter if the last one was a week ago or five years ago - an introvert’s thought process is still the same. All the Weird Thoughts Introverts Have Before and After Socializing 1. To put this into perspective, let’s discuss what introverts might think during - and after - socializing. As a result, we become in desperate need of an escape to reach equilibrium again.Įssentially, big social events (like work parties, networking events, or family reunions with distant relatives) stretch introverts thin. Having to engage in conversations we may not want to engage in is the equivalent of being a fish out of water: It puts us in a state of shock and we may find it very difficult to come up with things to talk about. It’s one thing when we’re in comfortable environments - such as when we’re around our closest family and friends - and a different thing altogether when we’re conversing with everyone else. To introverts, too much socializing is draining and feels like a chore.
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